Season 2 FTW!

Here's season two. Episode length begins to grow a little but nowhere near the length it will eventually reach. There are several inside jokes here that most people who are not me will not understand. Let me address those: the cheesefries story basically happened to me in grade school minus the death, John Hilmer was a high school teacher of mine who didn't teach as much as tell stories about his life, act strange, and claim to be "punk rock", I really did have a friend with blue gums but no one really teased him seriously, and Del Henderson did beat me to Homecoming King one time, he was an eagle scout. This should clear up most of the confusion. These were also all written junior year of high school. Hope you enjoy these!

It’s Ben’s Life – Season 2

Episode 1 – Ben’s Butt Naked

A new law requires everyone to be naked. But, Ben complies to the rule one day before it takes affect. He goes through quite an embarrassing day. At the end of the day the law is repealed and Ben goes into a naked rage.

Episode 2 – Ben Loathes Cheesefries

Ben’s class goes ice-skating. Ben really likes one girl in his class. He sees his chance to strike when a couple’s skate is announced. But, to his dismay, the girl picks cheesefries over him. Ben develops emotional uncertainties while the girl pukes on everyone else in the class.

Episode 3 – Ben Meets/Accidentally Kills Good Charlotte or Ben Loves Weezer

Good Charlotte comes to town and Ben somehow gets them to come “play” at his school. Before they start there is an electrical fire and the band burns alive. Miraculously, Weezer appears and rocks the house. No one asks questions about the mysterious fire.

Episode 4 – Ben Deals With Teen Pregnancy

Ben and his friend Randy battle for the new girl, Wendy’s, affection. Randy wins but unintentionally impregnates Wendy. Ben mocks Randy. Randy and Wendy hitchhike to Canada. Ben finds an unopened bag of Blow Pops.

Episode 5 – Ben Defends the Ninjas

Pirates sue ninjas saying they are cooler. Ben comes to the ninjas defense acting as their lawyer. He counter sues the pirates. Ben rallies the support of the community and wins in a complete upset victory.

Episode 6 – Ben’s Bully Problems

Ben is being bullied by a bigger kid named Francis. Ben gets tired of this and gives Francis a swift kick to the nuts. Lots of stereotypical nerds thank Ben for his help. Ben ascends to the King of the Nerds. Ben then learns Francis only wants attention. Ben crushes Francis with his nerd army for safety and recreation.

Episode 7 – Ben’s Parents Aren’t Hip

The power at Ben’s house goes out. Ben’s parents try to convince him they were cool once by telling him stories of their childhood. Ben is unimpressed and starts shipping chocolate milk to Koreans.

Episode 8 – Ben vs. North Korea

Ben’s shipping business goes awry. North Korea begins to lay siege to his home. Ben has to fight off the entire North Korean army with household objects and cleverly laid traps. With the entire army decimated Ben wins the Congressional Medal of Freakin’ Awesome. Ben weeps inside for the thousands he massacred.

Episode 9 – Ben’s Siamese Twin

Ben grows a more popular Siamese twin. He gets jealous and contemplates killing his twin. But somehow, an unexpected friendship is formed. Ben and his twin form a close emotional bond. Then, Ben’s twin is eaten by a tiger on a safari field trip.

Episode 10 – Ben’s Penguin Addiction

One of Ben’s friends tells him to take a hit of penguin with him. Ben knows it’s wrong but all the cool people are doing penguin. Ben quickly becomes addicted and his life spirals out of control. His grades raise, he feels happy and giving all the time, and he even tries to join Greenpeace. Ben’s friends catch on to the signs of addiction and hold an intervention. Ben gets control of his addiction and returns to the mediocre, boring kid he once was.

Episode 11 – Ben Meets Robo-Hilmer (guest starring: John Hilmer)

The Man captures Hilmer and tries to replace him with Robo-Hilmer. Robo-Hilmer actually teaches classes and only tells stories relevant to the lessons. Ben sets out to rescue Hilmer. Ben sneaks into the Man’s headquarters and rescues Hilmer but Robo-Hilmer is still in control of the classroom. Robo-Hilmer and Hilmer battle to the death for control of the classroom. Hilmer acts like a lion tamer and tells about the time he lived in Chicago. Robo-Hilmer can’t compute this extreme lack of normality and implodes. Hilmer sings selections from American Idol.

Episode 12 – Ben’s Blue Gummed Friend

Ben’s friend is teased endlessly because of his blue gums. Ben tries to help his friend by putting stuff in the fish sticks to turn everyone’s gums blue. Everyone gets mad and blames Ben’s friend. Ben tries to take the blame but no one believes him. No longer being able to stand the taunting Ben’s friend escapes to Nanapajama Land on the backs of polar bears. We learn an important lesson about not hurting people’s feelings and accepting other people’s horrible abnormalities.

Episode 13 – Ben’s Platypus

Ben encounters a battle-armor wearing, fortune telling platypus named Arhpaxad. With the knowledge of the future Ben rises to popularity. One day, while eating with Arphaxad at lunch, a wasp lands near Ben. Ben tries to vomit on it. His vomit accidentally hits Arphaxad sending him back through space time. The popular kids, seeing Ben in a weakened state, try to maul him like ferocious, jungle tigers. Ben is able to defeat them with some strategic blasts of vomit.

Episode 14 – Ben’s a School Skipping Poostepper

Ben and his friend Timothy decide to skip school. They have a fun day unaffected by guilt and regret. They return to school to find the entire building burned down. Ben’s entire class was trapped inside. Ben and Timothy realize that they are now the most popular kids in their class. Ben later steps in dog poo and learns a valuable lesson. If he had been incinerated with the rest of his class he never would have had to step in disgusting dog feces.

Episode 15 – Ben and the King of the Universe (Special two hour episode!)

Del is made Homecoming King and Ben is jealous, but then realizes that a typo in the ballot technically makes Del king of the entire known universe. Ben flees to Saturn for his own safety. Del sets up a new government based on the Boy Scout ranks. Del soon becomes power hungry, banishing any who oppose him to toil forever in the boredom mines of Oklahoma. Ben rallies a unicorn army on Saturn and marches against Del. Ben is beaten back by a ferocious assault from Del’s eagle scouts. Just when it looks likes it’s all over, Alex Trebeck steps in and uses his re-grown moustache to calm Del. Everything returns to normal.
End Season 2

-B Morgz