Entirely Innapropriate New Episode

Warning! Do not read if you have easily offended, virgin eyes. The title and subsequent idea is from something Kyle said earlier today. Much props to him.

Ben in “69 Ben Avenue”

Ben, after an unfortunately painful biking accident has to have reconstructive plastic surgery. Ben is molded into pure hunkiness. He is also very flexible due to the way his spine bent in the accident. Ben is glad he didn’t wear a faggy helmet. All of these strange side effects of a bike crash, which incidentally was caused by Ben trying to shake his wang at a raccoon whilst popping a wheelie, lead Ben into the world of porn. Ben becomes a Porn Star. Ben bursts onto the scene in a myriad of colorfully titled movies, albeit low-budgeted, which include, but are not limited to: Hookers in Trashcans, The Incredible Penis Monster, Hookers in Dumpsters, Ben in Hookers in More Trash Receptacles, and Benrection. Ben wins so many penis shaped awards that he melts them all down and makes a giant, golden phallus to worship in his backyard. The phallus is visible from 30,000 feet and for a clear 250 mile radius. As you can imagine, the conservatives are not a fan of this. They send Ann Coulter to vengefully rape him with her cold, hard facts. Ben is so dazzled that he can no longer perform and is fired from all of his upcoming projects. This totally sucks because Ben was looking forward to Plus Sized Hookers on Ben in Bathtubs. Ben fades into obscurity but grasps for straws in the form of a cable access show called 69 Ben Avenue. This concerns Ben watching his own movies and wanking to them vigorously. Every sane human being is immediately drawn to this wonderful new media art form. The public just can’t get enough of Ben playing sausage hockey. Ben is, once again, the golden boy in the public eye. But, once again, Ben is made a pariah when it is discovered that he has been underage this whole time. People are vomiting in the streets and joining convents like mad. Ben, who is unaware of any sort of laws governing his behavior, is perplexed but not defeated. To keep up the revenue his parents are used to him generating he opens a sexy lemonade stand outside his house. It’s twenty-five cents a cup and fifty cents for a nip slip.